The Leaky Pen Staff Bio: Acatalepteron
A word about my name: my name is fundamentally incomprehensible, so I
won't bother explaining it to you. I considered using a more
traditional name such as Thanatos, or Kronos, which respectively mean
“grilled cheese,” and “not-so-grilled cheese” in Italian, but decided
I wouldn't.
Note: by way of sincere apology and confession, I wish it to be known
that I mean no offense to any offended, or not-so-offended reader, who
may to be Italian, not be Italian, have Italian friends, have eaten
Italian food, or have ridden on a giraffe. I am aware that those who
have not ridden on giraffes may be somewhat confused by my inclusion
of that category. Rest assured that, for inexplicable reasons, lies
regarding the Italian language would be offensive to such people.
You should also know that mention of African wildlife is merely a part
of my plan for world domination, and that, as there is nothing you can
do to thwart that plan, there is no use worrying about it.
In case you, being the fool which you are no doubt, busy being, you
have not yet realized, I have so far told you nothing about myself.
That is how it will remain. This “bio” is, in fact, merely a subtle
psychological mechanism for gaining control of your cerebral
functions. Through its powerful psycho-mechanical influence, you are,
even as we speak, being transformed into a mindless minion designed to
serve my evil purposes.
The only way to save yourself is to stop reading before it's to late.
But, like all your foolish predecessors, despite my warnings, you will
inevitably succumb to my influence. Even though I revealed my methods,
you continued reading, and are now mine!! Mwahahahaha...
10.2005 |
